Dear Blank Please Blank

Dear Osama,

Should've worn stripes...

Sincerely, Waldo.

Dear Osama,

Thanks for returning the cloak...

Sincerely, H. Potter.

Dear Board of Education,

So are we.

Sincerely, students everywhere.

Dear people whos cars have been stolen,

10% of car theives are left handed. All polar bears are left handed. There's a 10% chance that a polar bear took your car.

Sincerely, logic.

Dear elbow,

I didn't want to touch you anyway...

Sincerely, tongue.

Dear everyone,

SORRY FOR MAKING YOU YELL IN YOUR HEAD!

Sincerely, caps lock.

Dear parents,

Thanks for passing by the TV at only the most awkward and inappropriate moments of the movie.

Sincerely, uncomfortable teen.

Dear doorbell on TV,

You really think that's funny, don't you?

Sincerely, dogs of the house.

Dear person who just called me,

I literally called you back within two seconds of missing the call. What did you do, hang up and throw your phone out the window?

Sincerely, annoyed.

Dear animal shelter commercials,

Why are you taking a video of a puppy shivering in the rain?

Sincerely, why don't YOU do something!?

Dear China,

Where are your toys made?

Sincerely, curious.

Dear person who decided "lisp" would have an "s" in it,

You thuck.

Sincerely, perthon witha lithp.

Dear person next to me in class,

Please write bigger.

Sincerely, didn't study.

Dear mom,

Why is it that when I do something wrong, it's my fault, but if I do something right, it's because you raised me so well?

Sincerely, not fair.